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Sports Jokes - Funny Joke
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Short Cowboy jokes
Q:
What do you call a drug ring in Dallas?
A: A huddle.
Q: Four Dallas Cowboys in a car, who's
driving?
A: The police.
Q: Why can't Michael Irvin get into a huddle
on the field anymore?
A: It is a parole violation for him to
associate with known felons.
The Dallas newspapers reported yesterday
that Texas Stadium is going to take out the
artificial turf because the cowboys play
better on "grass."
The Dallas Cowboys adopted a new "Honor
System", Yes your Honor, No your Honor.
The Cowboys had a 12 and 5 season this year,
12 arrests, 5 convictions.
The Cowboys knew they had to do something
for their defense, so they hired a new
defensive coordinator: Johnny Cochran
Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their
first week at spring training?
A: Studying their Miranda Rights.
Normal car is better
Reasons why a normal Car is a far superior
vehicle than a F1 Car
"Hundreds of people and tens of millions of
dollars go into building an F1 car, but a
normal car is a far superior vehicle. You
wonder what goes through those guys' minds
when design their cars. THEY'RE ALL
WRONG!!!!"
No door... I mean, people have to climb in.
Actually, ANYBODY can climb in and steal it.
Pffft!
No roof... The people who drive these things
are left open to the elements. Like, even
convertible cars have something you can pull
over your head.
No radio (AM and FM), no cassette nor CD
player... how boring it must be to drive in
those things for close to two hours without
having anything to listen to.
No heating... Being left open to the
elements, the drivers' toes must become very
cold after a while.
No coffee cup holder... Those guys can spill
all the hot (and dangerous stuff) over
themselves. What with them steering with one
hand and trying to drink with the other.
No ashtrays and electric lighter...
No windshield wipers... and they expect them
to race in the rain?
No windshields... Well, I guess no. 7 and 8
go hand in hand.
No turn signals... How can they indicate
they intend to pass?
No headlights... No wonder they only drive
in the day time.
Only one brake light...
Only one seat... How can a guy go necking
with his girlfriend at the local drive in?
No anchor for a baby seat... And they are
trying to make us believe that safety comes
first?
No trunk...
No adjustable seats... (mine goes back and
forth, and can be tilted as well)
High fuel consumption...
Engines that don't last...
Tyres that just wear off in no time flat...
Where's the bloody ignition? I guess it's
back to the old Model T days when the cars
had to be crank started.
No sun visor... Must be fun driving those
things with the sun in the eyes. Talk about
accidents waiting to happen.
Destroy an opponent
The
Center for Opponent Neutralization (C.O.N.)
Tonya Harding Presents...
Get tired every softball season loosing to
the same team with all the big sluggers year
in and year out?
Are you tired of always getting beat 6-0,
6-0 by that arrogant tennis-playing friend
of yours with his killer serve?
Haven't you had enough of that annoying golf
buddy who always seems to shoot in the low
80's against you?
Just tired of always loosing to someone
better than you? Let us do the dirty work
for you at the......
Tonya Harding Center For Opponent
Neutralization
That's right, for a small fee we can rough
up, maim, dismember, paralyze, or even kill
that person or persons who are blocking your
path to athletic success.
Check out our price list:
Blow to the knee............................. $99.95
Blow to both knees (a better buy)............ $149.95
Blow to the head............................. $124.95
Knife in the back (tennis players only)...... $49.95
Kick in the groin (male athletes only)....... $9.95
Poking out one eye........................... $49.95
Poking out both eyes (three stooges style)... $79.95
Gun shot to the knee......................... $199.95
Gun shot to both knees....................... $299.95
Gun shot to the head......................... $499.95
Impalement in a public place................. $999.95
Prices subject to change without notice.
Remember, wednesdays are bonus days, order
one act of violence and receive another of
equal or lesser value at 50% off!
With every order over $300.00 you
automatically receive a collapsible hard
plastic baton personally signed by Tonya
Harding herself - just like the one used to
beat the crap out of Nancy Kerrigan.
To order, call toll-free at 1-800-just-win
Question answer 01
Where
do religious school children practice
sports?
In the prayground!
How did the basketball court get wet?
The players dribbled all over it!
Why did the chicken get sent off?
For persistent fowl play!
Why were the two managers sitting around
sketching crockery before the start of the
game?
It was a cup draw!
Where do football directors go when they are
fed up?
The bored room!
A manager was being interviewed after he had
resigned from a football club?
"Were the crowd not behind you" asked the
reporter
"They were right behind me all right", said
the manager, "But I managed to shake them
off at the station!"
Question answer 02
Why
should you be careful playing against a team
of big cats?
They might be cheetahs!
Manager: Our new midfielder cost ten
million. I call him our wonder player
Fan: Why's that?
Manager: Everytime he plays I wonder why I
bothered to buy him!
Why do artists never when they play
football?
They keep drawing!
Why do managers bring suitcases along to
away games?
So that they can pack the defence!
Where do old bowling balls end up?
In the gutter!
Manager: I thought I told you to lose
weight. What happened to your three week
diet?
Player: I finished it in three days!
What part of a football pitch smells nicest?
The scenter spot!
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