Funny Quotes - Funny Joke

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If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.

Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable. - Mrs. White, (Clue 1985)

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

I could've eaten Alphabits and crapped out a better essay!!

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

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