Funny Quotes - Funny Joke

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

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